Let’s be more Selfish in 2020

Being selfish can sometimes come across as being “bitchy,” and so maybe I’ll be more of a bitch in 2020, but for more of a lady like tone, I’ll call it being “selfish.”

I’m going to be saying NO a lot more.

-“Wanna make plans for Tuesday night?”

-No. That actually sounds miserable. I would much rather be in my home, in my pjs by 7 and about to watch This Is Us and possibly shed a tear because Randall said something that just pierced a hole in my heart…..

I’m going to be more selfish with my kids. If I get a text, I don’t need to answer right away, so if you don’t get a response from me until late at night or even the next day, I’m not sorry. I was spending time with my family.

I’m not going to put myself in awkward or anxious situations.

Do I want to have dinner at my Moms house, when all I can emotionally stand is maybe 30 minutes tops before anxiety kicks in and I’m busting at the seams to leave? NO. And I wont feel bad either. I’m being Selfish. For Myself.

Do I want to meet up with my Dad at Costco just to browse. Yes, but I’m going to ask if his girlfriend is with him because I don’t want to be around her. (I think she is secretly killing him…more posts on that later) I will say NO if she is, although it is one of my favorite things to do with him.

I’m being Selfish, and maybe somewhat of a bitch, but I don’t care.

I’m taking care of myself, my wellbeing, and my family. Because when mom is happy….the house runs better.

January 2019 I was approached by an older woman asking for money. My daughter was with me and my brain was screaming for me to just tell her to go away, but I wanted my Daughter to see me being kind. So we gave her $40 after letting her spill her sob story and she hugged me, said “God Bless you” and we parted ways. My daughter talked about her for weeks, about how sweet and sad this old lady was. No, joke….I saw a facebook post with her picture 3 weeks later talking about how she’s a scam artist and travels from town to town collecting money. I was beyond pissed and I still am today, but I’ll never forget what my Brother in Law told me, “You don’t help people for their benefit, You do it for yourself.”

Damn, is that not the most ironic selfish thing you’ve ever heard? It’s true though. I did it for my daughter, to see me be kind and caring. I did it for myself, to get those little flutter of butterflies of doing something nice for someone else.

So, yes, I might seem more bitchy, but I’ll be the bitch helping people in need, because I’m also being selfish.

And when I feel guilty….because I know I will. I’ll remind myself why I’m doing this. To be a Selfish Bitch

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