Talking about Death

Does losing a loved one ever get easier? Is it harder to say goodbye if its a sudden loss or a death you knew was coming? Can you ever be prepared? Is it possible to say your goodbyes before they die?

They say grief has 5 stages. Well, I need to know the stages of loss before actually losing someone.

My father told me Thanksgiving 2018 that he had been diagnosed with Stage 3 Bone Cancer. Something called Multiple Myloma. I had never heard of this cancer, so I immediately gooogled the diagnoses, life expectancy, symptoms, etc. Multiple Myloma cannot be cured, but it can be managed. With his stage, he most likely had a good year left with us.

Me and my dad had always been close. So close that I’ve mentally had to tell myself to stop talking about him on dates in fear of scaring potential boyfriends away. As an adult now, our relationship changed more into a friendship. We talked, if not daily, every other day. There wasn’t anything we couldn’t talk about.

Well, except Death.

Dying was the elephant in the room. We never used that word. We would say, “When your gone.” I guess it seemed nicer. But why? We are all dying. I wish I had not been so afraid to say that “D” word, maybe we wouldn’t be in the situation we are in now.

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